Tuesday, February 23, 2010

sad today

I am feeling very sad today. Darren is on his way to a funeral this morning. One a person should just never have to go to. His best buddy from childhood is having to say goodbye to his youngest son today. I feel very guilty for not being able to be with my husband as I know how hard this is on him. I also wish i could show my support for Nick and Cassie. I am not strong enough to attend a babies funeral. This is just a little to close to home for me. It is my worst fear imagined and it is hard for me to even contemplate. No one should ever have to put their child in the ground. Cassie and i were pregnant together for all three of my pregnancies and while Nick and Darren were both supposed to get fixed Nick was not quick enough. They had their fourth baby and first son together, after three girls, in October. Logan died of SIDS last Wed. This just breaks my heart over and over again. I am aching so bad for them but i have no idea how to show them I care. I can't even think about it without crying let alone see them. I have put all the responsabilty on Darren, which is so not fair of me. But nobody in mourning wants to see another person losing it. Darren is holding up pretty good but i have a feeling he won't be after today. He is racked with guilt over the fact he had not even met Logan yet. Sometimes life gets busy and its hard to make time to see the people you love. This reminds us of why we shouldn't wait. Anyway I am sorry to bring others down by writing this but i needed to get it off my chest. Please keep the Yoakum family in your prayers as they try to handle this loss. Not just the parents but the three little sisters as well. They are 1,2 and 4 like my kiddos. I can't imagine how they are dealing with this.


Waggoner Family said...

I know this is hard, my dear friend Cassie lost her little boy almost 2 years ago. I learned one thing from her during this experience. The parents need you. They need to feel the love and warmth that you can bring them. They want to talk about the past and about their little one, even if it brings tears. I will keep you all in my prayers. I agree, no one should go through this. I have had all the same feelings as I dealt with the grief in my own way. Call me if you need to. Love you.

Mommy of Three said...

Ahh thanks Robyn. that is very sweet of you. I appreciate your words of wisdom. Darren said it was the hardest thing he has ever had to sit through but I am so glad he was able to be there for Nick today. Nick is like his brother. We will make sure we continue to be there for them!