growing up

My kids are 9 months, 2 and 4 but yet i already find myself dreading them growing up. It may have something to do with my sisters teenager and all the issues he is having. I keep telling myself that ours wont be like that though cause they will be from a family where both parents are there and love them. I guess we can never really know though. I dont believe at all that all screwed up people came from split unhappy homes. I think some people are just born crazy!I think my biggest fear is my daughter. She is already so demanding and stubborn. It's amazing how much you can butt heads with a 2 year old. ha I have also always been told that girls and mothers have conflict during puberty years. I guess it is all the hormones in both woman going crazy. I just read a fabulous book called Firefly Lane. It was great though it definitely helped play on my fears as a mother of a girl. =) I really hope i can be mother and friends with my children. I want them to respect me but trust me and come to me as well. I just wish everything i wanted was actually reality. It's funny all the things you say you will never do that you end up doing. Yelling for example. I have always seen my sister yell at her boys and thought oh my goodness i am not going to do that. well guess what. i do. and i absolutely hate it. They honestly dont listen to me though when i dont. I truly am working on this but they defintely test me each day. I watch nanny 911 darn it and her methods dont always work. lol Maybe i should call her. =) Anyway i think i got off track. my thoughts always scatter like that. thats why i am not a good writer. but if your reading this its probably cause you love me anyway. =) Those are my fears at the moment. they grip me every now and again and i figured i would just write it out. Hope everyone has a great Sat.

ps if you havent read that book i would suggest it. =)