Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My 5 year Anniversary in Eureka Springs

Darren and I just celebrated our five year anniversary in Eureka Springs. We have been on camping trips and river floats together but this was our first true vacation. Not to mention my first trip away from all three kids. We had so much fun just being together and relaxing. It has been so long since it has just been the two of us and i had forgotten how nice it is. Not that my kiddos werent constantly on my mind. =) We did some shopping and exploring Thursday and Friday and just a little bit Saturday morning and then spent the rest of the day in the cabin. Eureka Springs has some very wonderful sights. Not everything was open as it was the off season but enough was open for us to enjoy it. i think there was only one or two things i would have liked to have seen that were closed. The streets are very small there and i was a nervous wreck without much traffic, i dont know that i could go during the open season when they say it is extremely busy. So i think we made the right choice for us in going during winter time. =) I am also very glad it is not child friendly. Part of the reason i had a hard time deciding on what trip to take was that i wanted the kids to go to every place i thought of so i wanted to save those for family trips. =) i could not even imagine have my kids with me in those time rowed stores. lol Anyway great trip, great company and Darren and i both cannot wait till our next trip as husband and wife and not mommy and daddy.........speaking of kids, my mom said Dalten did very well, which i knew he wouldn't mind us being gone since he is older, Kayden got very sick the day after we left (thankfully my mom didnt tell me how bad she really was or i would have wanted to come home) and kept wanting to call me. So i talked to her a lot so she could tell me "I sick mom, I throw up" oh it just broke my heart poor little thing. She is just now starting to feel better. She has not thrown up since lunch so i am hoping it is finally passing. Daven looked for me every day. He was who i was most concerned and sad about leaving. When we got to my moms to pick them up he litterally screamed at the top of his lungs, ran and jumped into my arms and started laughing histerically while kicking his feet. I mean it was like i was his christmas, birthday, and easter present all rolled up into one. It was the best feeling a mom could ever get and i wish so much i had had this on tape. He laughed for over 20 minutes hugging on me. It was great! here are a couple pics of our trip. The frist one is Darren and I on top of a 100 foot lookout deck (the stairs were so steep and it was so called my lungs were killing me by the time i made it up lol) and the next one is of our cabin.

sad today

I am feeling very sad today. Darren is on his way to a funeral this morning. One a person should just never have to go to. His best buddy from childhood is having to say goodbye to his youngest son today. I feel very guilty for not being able to be with my husband as I know how hard this is on him. I also wish i could show my support for Nick and Cassie. I am not strong enough to attend a babies funeral. This is just a little to close to home for me. It is my worst fear imagined and it is hard for me to even contemplate. No one should ever have to put their child in the ground. Cassie and i were pregnant together for all three of my pregnancies and while Nick and Darren were both supposed to get fixed Nick was not quick enough. They had their fourth baby and first son together, after three girls, in October. Logan died of SIDS last Wed. This just breaks my heart over and over again. I am aching so bad for them but i have no idea how to show them I care. I can't even think about it without crying let alone see them. I have put all the responsabilty on Darren, which is so not fair of me. But nobody in mourning wants to see another person losing it. Darren is holding up pretty good but i have a feeling he won't be after today. He is racked with guilt over the fact he had not even met Logan yet. Sometimes life gets busy and its hard to make time to see the people you love. This reminds us of why we shouldn't wait. Anyway I am sorry to bring others down by writing this but i needed to get it off my chest. Please keep the Yoakum family in your prayers as they try to handle this loss. Not just the parents but the three little sisters as well. They are 1,2 and 4 like my kiddos. I can't imagine how they are dealing with this.